Monday, August 19, 2013


Thank you, God, for the concept - no, not just the concept, but the ATTAINABILITY - of change and growth and the renewing of the mind.

I think the last time I was truly stuck, mentally, was in my early 20's. It was a time when I could not be told anything new, could not be convinced that my decisions were poor, and could not even SEE how ridiculous my thinking was, or how absolutely horribly I had chosen to live my life...

Have you ever told yourself a lie for so long that you actually start to believe it?  

Though one might think it's better when you realize how stupid you've been, recognizing when you're about to do - or are actually doing - something you're not supposed to do, how much better could it be if you actually KNOW you're doing something wrong yet STILL choose to do it anyway?!?

I guess that would make you a different kind of stuck...

Now that I think about it, it's probably even worse. Now it becomes an act of absolute will, a conscious refusal to defer to your better judgement or instinct, making you...rebellious!!!

Oh, no, I a rebel?! See, this is a problem because I know for a FACT that I was super rebellious as a younger, entirely unsaved person. Though, there was not much structure or healthy discipline in our household, I still found ways to rebel. I had much 'tude and was quite outspoken. Questioning everything and everyone. And I (have the nerve to) wonder where my kids get it from...sigh...

However, once we've reached a certain age, AND have had a certain amount of exposure to Christ, being in a place of rebellion is EXTRA dangerous. Again, because we know better. But also, because "rebellious Christians" tend to require something super major and drastic to snap them out of their willful stupidity.

Personally, I have ZERO interest in drastic measures having to be taken in order to set me back on the right path. I'd rather check mySELF so that life doesn't have to...


Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

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