Tuesday, August 28, 2012

It's Official...

I'm addicted to nail polish. Sigh. I bought two green nail polishes this week from Amazon.com and am also expecting EIGHT more nail polishes from Zoya, as I took advantage of their buy one get one free promo...AAAAND, I hadn't even remembered this until this morning, but, I'm expecting polishes from my monthly Boho Glam Julep Maven Subscription box, which, by the way, includes two add-ons, making it four total...


I went into Rite Aid this morning to exchange my one unopened Just Bitten Kissable Balm Stain in Honey for one in Charm, which, by the way, is my new fave for everyday wear. Yet...after making my exchange, I spotted a little section that I'd never spotted before and ended up leaving with these:


The picture is kind of washing out the vibrancy of some of these colors, so I'll just tell you what they are from left to right:

Frenzy 922
HD Nails 926
Rise and Shine 940
San Francisco 802
Nail Junkie (how fitting; I swear I didn't even look at the name of this one until I got it to my desk this morning) 927
Flirting Nails 808
Daddys Girl 841

I wanna punch myself in the face...

Until Next Time,



Monday, August 27, 2012


This past weekend started with a BIG change: I CHOPPED OFF MY HAIR!!!! Yes, I went from having hair down to the middle of my back to a lot of short layers, the longest layers being just under two inches past my collar bone.
For some people this may not sound like much of a big deal...for me, however, it's pretty major. My hair hasn't been this short since I was in seventh grade. I actually "planned" to cut my hair SEVERAL years ago for my 30th birthday, but I was too chicken to go through with it. Now here I stand, not only with a whole lot less hair, but also with a brand new hair color! Yes! I also dyed my hair to add an extra PUNCH to the fact that I chopped off my mop. The color is called "red pepper" I think. Though the color is way more obvious on my roots than on the rest of my hair, I like it. To be honest, it's not the first time I've colored my hair some type of reddish color, however, it is the first time I've had it professionally done.
Here are some not so great pictures of my new 'do. I will post more when I can get out in the sun, as the location/time of day and/or lighting were not ideal at the times I took, them:
Hair split in middle when I got home Friday night:
Hair split to the side on the very cloudy Saturday afternoon before brunch at Paladar with my girlfriends and hubby:
A better picture of the color on the same cloudy day:
I had mixed feelings about the haircut...it is a lot shorter than I thought I asked my lady to cut it. But you know what? I'm glad she did it. I just washed my hair tonight and the process was oh so easy and took so much less time! Also, my hair grows pretty fast and it's hot as heck these days; having less hair will be a benefit for the remainder of this very hot summer. Also, when I put my hair up in a high ponytail, OMG, it's like a big, fat and most adorable pom-pom on top of my head! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!
My husband used the following descriptive words for the cut: sassy, edgy, sophisticated, sexy, cute. Interesting mix of words, I'd say, but he likes it and I'm GLAD. I love how supportive he is of pretty much anything I decide to do. I jokingly texted him before I came home saying, "I'm bald!" and his response was, "Bring your sexy bald @$$ home to me." Yes, he wrote it exactly as I just wrote it:).
I must send a super huge SHOUT OUT to Antwanyce or RichAnt on FB, who works at C&K Hair Design in Bowie, MD. The place is so luxurious, FAR FROM GHETTO, and the ladies there are true professionals. I will most definitely be back!!!
My birthday is on Wednesday, August 29th, and in pre-celebration of that, my two girlfriends from work came to MD to join me and my hubby for brunch at Paladar Latin Kitchen and Rum Bar in Annapolis, MD this past Saturday. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that place. I'd eat there every week if I could the food's so darn good. Here are some pics of what we ate. Don't ask me to tell you what they were, just know it was all amazing:
Spicy guac and chips:

My food:

Hubby's food:

Khaliah's food:
Jennifer's food:
Jas and I also had some calamari, but honestly, of the three times we've been there, the calamari was the first and only disappointment. Not something we'd ever order again.
After brunch we went to Annapolis Mall where I actually purchased for the very first time some fragrances from Victoria's Secret. Yummy. We also people watched and laughed and laughed and laughed...
OMG my hubby just brought me some freakin' strawberry lemonade cupcakes that our daughter and he just baked together...mmmm...dreamy....
They look like they're sitting in a bakery window, don't they?! They are BEAUTIFUL, tangy and sweet - just like my daughter! LOL!
Until next time,

Friday, August 17, 2012

Growing Up...

My heart's a little heavy today. There's a lot going on inside of me right now that is kind of scaring me, stressing me out and all-around pressing down on my shoulders. If it weren't for the sustaining power of Jesus in my life, I'd probably run away from home or something crazier.

Please don't misunderstand me. I live a very blessed life. I'm head over heels in love with my husband and am so totally in love with my kids that sometimes I wish I could miniaturize them and carry them around in my bag so that I can take them out and kiss and squeeze them anytime I want. I don't need to wish that about my husband because we kiss and squeeze each other all day anywayz as he and I work in adjoining cubicles.

One of the major things tugging at me right now is the fact that my kids are getting older  - my oldest just turned 18 for goodness sake! My oldest has been for the most part my most well-behaved child since the very beginning. (I mean, seriously, he slept through the night, every night, from the very first day I brought him home.) I don't mean to compare him to my other two kids, really, but I don't remember being so afraid for him as I am for my other two kids at this point in time. The age difference between my oldest and my two younger children is only about five years, but it seems like the things they're exposed to these days weren't big issues for my Jaylen when he was about that age.

Jada...sigh. My 12-year-old Jada is, simply put, just too beautiful and "developed" for her age; to make things "worse," she has a very trusting and sweet personality. I am constantly afraid for her because I don't want her to be taken advantage of by boys - OR girls for that matter. I wish she wasn't as open and trusting as she is...yet the very things I want to protect her from are most likely the very things that will also "teach" her to be more guarded and careful when selecting who to trust. I am praying daily that if/when she learns the lessons that will mature and sharpen her discernment, it doesn't also harden her precious heart. Of my three children, I am MOST protective of her.

Noah...sigh again. My 13-year-old Noah has unfortunately been showing signs of a rebel personality. Of my three children, he is the one who struggles the most with following the rules. I swear, it's like he feels rules simply don't apply to him. I don't get it. His selection of friends and overall decision-making have been poor at best these last couple of years, and the consequences are more serious than I ever expected, rearing their ugly heads more frequently and pointedly these last few months.

Noah had always been my most challenging child, even from pregnancy. I was put on bed rest the last two months I carried him because my doctor was afraid he'd come out of me sooner than he was supposed to (I was two cm dilated at six mos.); he refused to breast feed; he didn't sleep through the night for nearly TWO YEARS after he was born; he was in and out of the emergency room the entire first year of his life with respiratory issues aggravated by my family's smoking, forcing me to move out of my mom's house with two kids at the very tender age of 22 for fear that staying there would kill my son; and he was kicked out of at least three different daycare facilities in two years due to wild behavior like stabbing holes in leather couches with pens and chopping another little girl's beautiful hair off with scissors.


All of this was on top of the fact that he threw extremely violent temper tantrums during which he would tell me he hated me and wished he had a different mother. For some reason my writing that just now made me tear up a bit. That last thing, where he would tell me he hated me, ended at about four years old, when I'd had enough of it, yanked him up by the front of his shirt, pressed him against a wall and let him know in no uncertain terms that I was NOT some random chick on the street, I was NOT his friend, that I didn't give a flying fig newton (ok, I might have said something else beginning with an 'f'; I wasn't saved then :/) whether or not he ever loved or liked me, but that he WOULD respect me, because I am the only mother he is ever going to have.

That encounter along with weekly beatings seemed to do the trick for a while. He never verbally lashed out at me again and he became more well-behaved. He seemed to start caring about whether or not he hurt or disappointed me with his actions, and did his best to make me proud. Even on his first day of kindergarten he assured me all would be well as I stood there wringing my fingers at the classroom door. He said to me, "Don't worry, mom. It will be okay. You'll see!" This commitment to being good lasted until about two years ago...

I find that when you have a relationship with someone in which there are a lot of challenges you face together, it sort of bonds you in a way that is unlike your easier, breezier relationships. This doesn't make one relationship any better or closer or favoriter (yes, I said "favoriter;" it's in my yet-to-be-published, New Jessika's Dictionary of Made-Up Words) than the others, just different. I have a connection with Noah...the way we communicate is very different from the way I communicate with my other two children...

It's quite possible that, if I allow myself to admit it, he and I are very much alike. He looks nothing like me, so much unlike me in fact that I've had people ask, "Oh, is he yours, too?"; but, there are a lot of things I've noticed about his personality that are very much like me, like it or not. These things make me want to choke him and love him more all at the same time. Anywayz, today, Noah has again become my big challenge, and I'm needing God now more than ever so that I don't screw it up.

For those of you who pray - in Jesus' name that is - please pray for us: for my daughter, that she would get closer to God and better discern and dare to be different from her friends; for my 18-year-old son, that he would get closer to God and find his way in this next stage of his life, and make decisions that will lead him to success; for Noah, that he will get closer to God and make smarter, more God-led decisions with regard to behavior and selecting his friends; and for my husband and me, that we will remember to always seek God's face first when it comes to caring for, disciplining and instructing our children so that our parenting may be positive and effective...

THANK YOU in advance...

Until next time,



Thursday, August 16, 2012

Essie's Gym Dandy

This is so not a color I've ever liked let alone worn...but I couldn't take my eyes off of it at CVS today. It was the last one they had, too, and I simply couldn't let it stay there all by its lonesome...

Until next time,



Wednesday, August 15, 2012


This past Sunday night, the weirdest thing happened. I was found and contacted on Facebook by a friend I have not seen or heard from since I was quite literally in the SIXTH GRADE! She posted a comment on one of my photos saying, "Remember me? You still look the same." This person was one of two twin sisters that were like six years older than I was who used to hang out with my best friend (at the time) and me - and they spoiled us rotten!

I can honestly say that I don't have the slightest memory as to how I even MET these girls, though I believe I met them when I was in fifth grade. For whatever reason, they liked me and took me and/or my best friend at the time everywhere. It was through these girls that I first discovered the wonder that is/WAS Diet Coke (though these days, if/when I really want a soda, I prefer Coke Zero Cherry), and it was through one of these girls that I first found out that some women don't need to wash their hair every day! This was after spending like eight hours in a salon with her where she was getting some braids done; the technician asked her when she last washed her hair and when she said something like "weeks ago," my jaw dropped! LOL! I was completely dumb to these things and was washing my frizzy dry hair every day.

Anyway, these girls took us out to eat, to the movies, everywhere - and I believe we either walked or took the bus because I don't think they drove...at least, I don't remember if they did...and it was these girls who took me to see Coming to America in the movie theatres - TWICE! LOL!

Anyway, what made this sudden contact extra weird for me is the fact that I was JUST thinking about them about a month prior and was set to look for them when I realized that I didn't remember their last name...but as I write, I'm getting a fuzzy memory in the back of my mind that it might have been Williams. I don't know...

What was also weird is that when I asked her how she found me, she said she found my mom first and that she was able to do that because she remembered that my mom's last name was E*********...at first I was all like, "Oh, cool, OMG!" But after we signed off of Facebook, I started to get suspicious like I always do about just about any and everything...the thing is, at the time that we were friends and hanging out and all that awesomeness, my mom's last name was the same as mine at the time: R****. The E name was my mom's maiden name and as far as I know, this old friend had no reason to know that my mom got divorced and went back to using her maiden name...hmm! I was going to bring this back up to the old friend but I thought it would make me sound like a jerk, so I refrained.

Anyway, though I don't remember how I met these girls, and I remember having a ball with them when we were friends, I also remember why the friendship ended. See, I had a crush on a boy who was about three or four years older than me, which made him a few years younger than the girls. I actually remember his name, too: George Wilbur. Oh, he was so beautiful - though I don't think that I'd recognize him on the street if I saw him as his face to me is now a blur. Sigh. I remember he was thinking about changing his last name to something French; the French name escapes me, but I think it belonged to one of his other family members. Anyway, on the night that I KNOW he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend, my best friend's little sister somehow got in the way and botched the whole thing for me. Shortly thereafter, one of the twins started to date my beloved George. And I think after a while there was talk about them getting married. I don't remember whether the friendship ended before or after talk of marriage came into the picture, but I remember that my heart was utterly broken.

Isn't it amazing the things we remember about our childhoods? I don't care about what happened back then as far as why the friendship ended. The fact that one of them would actually still think about me and remember me and make the effort to contact me after all of these years is pretty darn awesome! It feels good to know that some of the people who have impacted and/or touched your life in some significant way can feel the same way about you.

When we're young, we do and say things to ourselves and others without really thinking, not realizing how those things can leave a mark in another human being years later. Now that I'm older, I'm realizing how important it is to treat people you know with kindness and respect. That way, if/when you part ways, the memories you'll leave them with will be positive ones. And maybe, one day, you'll meet again and be able to pick up where you left off: On a POSITIVE note.

Until Next Time,



Monday, August 13, 2012

Pouches be Gone!

I've gone back to the very first purse organizer I ever purchased, the Purseket. Having those three pouches I talked about in my What's in my Bag video left me still digging for stuff. This makes my most used items easy to see and reach when needed. Only one little pencil pouch remains holding my eye makeup, eyebrow comb and eye drops...yay!

Until next time,



Thursday, August 9, 2012

My Husband Is My Best Friend

I logged into Facebook this morning and noticed one of my friends liked a photo posted on a page called "My Husband is my Best Friend." The photo was of Ice Cube and his wife. I was intrigued by the title of the page so I thought I'd check it out because it also sounded like something I could "like" and keep up with from time to time...

There were several celebrity couples pictured, but also a lot of pictures of regular people, which I liked - even though we have absolutely no idea whatsoever what kind of marriages the celebrities or regular people actually have.

And then...a picture of Mr. and Mrs. Chad Johnson, AKA Ochocinco and Evelyn from Basketball Wives. That did it for me; I stopped perusing the page.

I don't mean to be judgmental; I really and truly don't. However, I do take marriage very seriously. It only took the one and half episodes I watched of Basketball Wives recently to see that what those two have agreed to is not a marriage at all, let alone one in which Chad and Evelyn can be considered best friends. It can't last.

There are just some things best friends won't do to each other - and that includes MARRYING if they know they won't be able to commit to being with each other, and only with each other, every day for the rest of their lives. A best friend won't marry you even if you say that you'll be "ok" with them cheating on you on a regular basis because a best friend will see right through your desperation and instead opt to protect you and your dignity by honoring you and the friendship by saying, "NO."

But, then again, I guess it's possible for two amoral beings to be best friends and marry each other and have an existence in which just about anything goes and still live happily ever after...who knows?

However, in the real world, where normal people live, not every marriage is qualified to be defined as one in which the husband and wife are best friends - and it's not something that can be easily identified just by looking at a photograph. In fact, though I'm not an expert, I'm comfortable saying with reasonable certainty that best-friend marriages are RARE.

So, I'll have to pass on "liking" and following that Facebook page. They've missed the mark in MY book...

Until next time,



Monday, August 6, 2012

Lovely Weekend

I don't have much to say today, only that my weekend was truly blessed. I got to spend some real one on one time with my sister...I cannot even think about the last time that even happened...Rose, if you're reading this, HAS this ever happened?! LOL!

Actually, way back in the early 2000's, my sister and I lived right across the street from each other and I do recall spending time with her, though our kids were usually if not always present (we were kid-free this weekend! Yay!). Before one of us moved away, we used to take turns cooking for each other on a very regular basis. Funny thing is, I didn't even think about that fact while she was here this weekend, yet, when I saw her, I naturally wanted to cook something for her. You don't understand: I DON'T cook! I already planned earlier in the week that we'd go out to eat! Yet, before I even formulated a complete thought about what it was that I was doing, I found myself marinating chicken for her to eat...hmm...I wonder what THAT'S about!

We went through my polishes and makeup and she showed me how to apply eyeshadow, which is something I suck at and therefore rarely if ever do. We then went to a place called Hobby Lobby and found out some more things about each other simply by perusing the aisles. She and I discovered we had even more in common than we thought we did as we gravitated toward the same types of knickknacks and decor. HOW did this happen?!!!

I can't believe after all these years, the majority of which were spent living totally separate lives, we could come together at this stage and find out that we have so, so, SO much in common! She is easy to be around and to talk to and I can't wait for the deeper discoveries that lie ahead for us as our relationship continues to grow to a place that it has never been before...

Again, I am truly blessed!

Until Next Time,



Friday, August 3, 2012

Mistakes Women Make Part 3 - Final

Here are some more common mistakes women make:

1. Thinking that you should portray a casual, nonchalant attitude about the men who are pursuing you. Again, men don't like to be made to look like fools. If you treat him as though he's not important, or like he's only one of many, many men you're seeing, it will make him think you're not worth pursuing. To be clear, it is good for a man to see you as desirable to others, it's not good for him to see you as someone with whom just about anyone can spend time. The chance to spend time with you should be a privilege not easily given.

2. Accepting first invitations to go out, and/or dating "casually." Going out with a man just to have something to do is not okay. It is a waste of your very valuable time; time that should be spent taking care of your spiritual, emotional and physical (not sexual) needs, reflecting on your past relationships, pursuing or even finding your passions. If/When a man is truly interested in you, first get to know him better by talking on the phone, emailing, texting, etc. Ask questions that are important to you. If and only if he passes the preliminary "examination" if you will, and if and only if you already have plans to take a walk, meet some friends, go to a museum, or whatever, you may let him know where you're going/what you're doing and tell him he can swing by if he'd like. A man who is really interested in you will take any opportunity he can get to see you.

3. Denying that casual sex and/or "booty call" relationships are harmful to you . Ladies, you can take on the Samantha from Sex in the City attitude all you like, but a good-hearted woman wanting to love and be truly loved cannot have sex and not be affected by it. There is an exchange made with every sexual encounter you have. Every man you've been with has left something in you behind, and it happens whether or not you use a condom!!! The purest version of yourself, the one God created you to be, becomes more and more of a distant memory with each sexual partner you have; in other words, you become less and less you, and more and more a combination of all the men you've allowed into your bed. Movies like "No Strings Attached" and "Friends with Benefits" send extremely dangerous messages to women in that they give the impression that it's possible to find "true love" in a booty-call relationship. Also keep in mind that you will NEVER find true love with a booty call relationship on the side. Think of that relationship as a brick wall between you and True Love.

4. Going out of your way to find a man with whom to have a relationship without really knowing what it is you're looking for. Know what you do and don't want in a man, what you will and will not accept, before deciding to make yourself available via a dating site, service, or by visiting venues in which there are going to be a lot of single people. Here's a tip: GOOD men don't frequent "the club." They just don't. And neither do GOOD women.

5. Making the first move. There are a lot of men out there who find it very difficult to hurt a girl's feelings by saying "no." I know of some men who have even had sex with women to whom they weren't really attracted, and/or had absolutely no intention of pursuing for whatever reason. To ask a man out is an absolute waste of your time and his. DON'T DO IT!!!

6. Brushing off the warnings and "bad feelings" your friends and family give/are having with regard to the man you're with. Look, I fully recognize that there are a lot of "haters" out there, some of the biggest are among our family and friends, indeed. But, pay close attention to what the people in your life who genuinely care about you have to say. Sometimes, these very people are the only ones who can be objective about what they're seeing in you and/or in him as a result of the relationship. It's true that we're not going to be able to make everyone in our life happy, and that we and only we are the ones who need to decide whether or not the person we choose is right for us, however, you have to admit that sometimes our perceptions are tainted by the emotional ties we create with our partners. I can honestly say with that each and every time someone in my family said to me that something wasn't "right" with the person I was with, they were 100 percent correct.

7. Thinking it's absolutely necessary to have sex with a man in order to keep his interest. Honey, did you not get the memo? Draw'-droppin' women are a dime a dozen these days and no one worth having is signing up to marry a single one of them. Succumbing to the pressure of having sex with someone you're trying to get to know better and to keep around is the fastest way to LOSE him emotionally and mentally. He may stick around for a few more rounds if the sex is good, but there's nothing healthy or long-term in it. To NOT have sex is what makes you unique.

I could go on and on and on about the things we women tend to do that hinder the potential for a long-lasting relationship. But I'm going to stop now and leave you with this: I honestly believe, even after all that I've written thus far, that it isn't necessary to be in a relationship or to be married in order to live a perfectly moral, happy, and fulfilling life. I can attest to that fact myself. Interestingly, when I discovered this truth and focused on my relationship with God, my kids, and my family, love came knocking on my door - and I wasn't even looking for it, nor did I invite it (on purpose)! Yet, when I finally answered, it wasn't because I felt like I "needed" it; it was because it was a gift God sent to me that I WANTED to accept.

Until next time,



Thursday, August 2, 2012

Mistakes Women Make Part 2

I was a woman scorned. Hurt, confused, abandoned and lost. After reading all kinds of self help books, even following the instruction given in the books of "New Thought" spiritual teacher, Iyanla Vanzant, I'd had enough. Though all of these tactics seemed to help for a little while, I felt myself getting restless, wanting to fall back into the same pattern of behavior when it came to my dealings with men.

So here came the decision. In 2002, I decided that if I didn't know how to do it right (dating), I wasn't going to do it at all! A year later, I started going to church, and during a Sunday service on my 28th BIRTHDAY, nearly a year after I started going to church, I received the Holy Ghost. All of a sudden, my entire perspective on men, dating, love and life in general really, was changed. I was able to SEE clearly everything I missed when dealing with men...

Enter the "hard-wiring" of men I spoke about in Part 1. It was revealed to me that it is in the nature of a man to hunt, conquer, lead and to be in control. Any man you meet who says he prefers for the woman to do the leading, make all the first moves and decisions, is a man who has been tainted by his environment and personal dealings either with the women in his family and/or in his dating experience and is NOT a proper candidate with whom to enter into a healthy, long-lasting relationship. STEER CLEAR of this type of man!

Men may sometimes behave as though they prefer a woman who dresses and speaks provocatively, is easy to bed, etc., but truthfully, a woman like that isn't someone a good man will be willing to put all of his money and effort into "winning." A woman like that is no prize to be won. A good man needs to know that the woman he wants isn't easy to get, and as such, will go above and beyond to show his interest and make his intents known. A good man, one who will lead his household and family lovingly and effectively, will know how to, and is not afraid to PURSUE the woman he wants. HE will make the calls, the plans, the dates. He will set the pace of the relationship and will do it in a way that is in the best interest of both himself and the woman he wants.

A good man isn't looking for a trophy, he's looking for someone he can trust. Men are generally prouder and tend to be a lot more careful with their hearts than we women are; they are less likely to fall in love with someone who has the potential to make him look like a fool. A good and very smart man will ensure that a true friendship has been established before he will pursue a romantic relationship. You, as a woman, should also demand for yourself a friendship before ever considering romance if you want to establish a bond with him that will make it a whole lot more difficult for him to be dishonest with or unfaithful to you. If you notice, men are extremely loyal to their friends - more loyal than female friends tend to be, that's for sure. If you establish a true and mutually trusting relationship with a man, AND he falls in love with you...to cheat on or hurt you in any way would crush him, and  as a natural self-preserver he'd avoid it at all costs...

Please remember that even a good man won't always get everything right. If you let him, he may take advantage of a woman who lets him go too far too soon. You, as the woman in his sights, can very quickly turn a serious interest into a fleeting thought if you behave and dress in a way that appeals more to his lust than to his mind and heart.

To Be Continued...

Until Next Time,