Thursday, April 18, 2013

Blog Anxiety

I don't recall feeling like this (anxious) about writing before. At this moment, I haven't a clue as to what I'm going to write, but I felt I had to push myself to do it because for days and days, whenever I thought about writing, I experienced some form of anxiety...

In the past, whenever I'd experienced anxiety about somewhere I had to go, or something I had to do, and I pushed myself to go or do it anyway, the result was always here I am...

Some instances in which I've felt this type of anxiety, but went along anyway, were:

1. Signing up for technical school, from which I graduated and was able to quit my job as a cashier and then qualify for and obtain an "office job," making way more money;
2. Going to particular church services that always blessed me through messages I really needed to hear;
3. Meeting with the wedding coordinator at the place I really, REALLY wanted to have my wedding (but that I really didn't think I could afford), which resulted in my having a gorgeous wedding exactly where I wanted to have it;
4. Going to an event at my then-best friend's church, which resulted in my joining that church and eventually marrying my best friend;
5. Agreeing to go on various outings with past friends, family members, etc. that I really didn't want to go to only to have some of the best times of my life and/or even meet some fantastic new people!!!

Those are just a few of many, MANY examples. I can't think of any other explanation other than demonic influence that would have me feel so negatively toward things that actually benefited me in very positive ways.

For some reason, the word "Courageous" just popped into my head. I don't mean to brag but it's my feeling that for me to push past the anxiety all of those times was pretty courageous of me. I thank God for giving me opportunities, even now and at my age, to be strong and of good courage...

Another thing that just popped into my head:

Fear is the devil's most commonly used well as his most frequently told lie...

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

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