The Introvert

One of my FB friends posted an article she found that I just absolutely loved. To know that my personality, while not as common as others, can be recognized and described for the world to see just ROCKS! Here is the link to the website:

http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts

These are the points that I just loved to read because it made me feel UNDERSTOOD! Love it! Again, these are not my words, they belong to Carl Kingdom, who I profusely THANK for sharing this information!!!! I added some confirmation comments, but in truth, there isn't one of the statements below that I disagree with. It's just that there are some I'm more passionate about than others:).

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days. (TRUE, TRUE, TRUE!!!)

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.

Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. (PREACH!) If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.

Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. (YES!) Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting. (YES!)

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.

On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.

Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. (TELL ME ABOUT IT!) They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.

Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. (YES!!!!!) They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.

Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.

Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become "normal." Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect ourselves.

AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

What's Your Favorite Holiday? How Do You Like To Spend It?

The subject of this post is week four's question of the week, which was selected at random from my little pouch of 52 questions attached to the inside of my custom-made (THANKS AGAIN, ROXY!!!) journal.

This entry was short and sweet for me. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I didn't write this in the journal, but it just occurred to me that another reason might be that it's one of the few holidays/occasions in the year that you're not obligated to get people presents. It's all about being together, sharing a meal and catching up with your family. I like the idea of getting together just because; that the only desire when planning this get-together is to see your family members' faces again. That really warms my heart.

Back to the entry: I simply wrote that I love to eat turkey and my mom's arroz con gandules (rice with pigeon peas), and Thanksgiving is one of the very few if not sometimes ONLY times of year in which those two items are available together. I love to spend it with my side of the family at my brother's house. My favorite place to have Thanksgiving get-togethers - any get-togethers, really - used to be at my mom's place when she had one. I wrote that I wish she'd get her own place again some day because I really enjoyed going over there just to hang out with her, and her alone, every once in a while. It was nice to have a place to go just to get out of the house!

I even got more specific in my entry as to the preferred WEATHER for Thanksgiving Day:). I like the sky to be overcast, but not rainy or humid; as well as chilly, but not bitterly cold. Truth be told, however, the weather is a small part of my Thanksgiving experience; I really just love to be around my family for whom I am extremely grateful and whose company I thoroughly enjoy.

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Weekly Journal Questions: Week Three Catch-Up

Who has had the biggest impact on how you choose to live your life?

My ACTUAL written journal entry, retyped below:

I think for many, many years, the answer to this question was, "My kids." I'd decided after years of dating and getting hurt by loser after loser, that it was the love and desire for a better life and example for my children that caused me to seek a better "me," spiritually and emotionally. It was on this journey that I discovered I needed Jesus in my life.

Now, God has the greatest impact on how I choose to live my life. It is my dislike of disappointing Him that convicts my heart and makes me want to do better. Knowing that He sees and expects better of me than I do myself, is inspiring.

I desire to be calmer, humbler, a better steward of money, a more giving wife and mother, selfless, unentitled, generous, kind, compassionate, PATIENT, a speaker of GOOD THINGS, a builder-upper, and a most desirable friend and confidante.

I also want to love myself as much as God loves me, because doing so makes it so much easier to love and accept others unconditionally.

In Jesus' name, Amen!

I'll be answering my fourth-week question on Sunday afternoon/evening.

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Weekly Journal Questions Week Two Catch-Up

Another question I picked out of my envelope of 52 questions was:

Are you a loyal person? Can you keep a secret? (Correction from how it was initially listed a few entries ago.)

Summary of how I answered:

I absolutely, positively consider myself to be a loyal person, and definitely one who can keep a secret. I went further in answering this by talking about how growing up, I'd never been into the gossip thing, even in high school, and that loyalty and someone else's inability to keep a secret caused me to quit my job as a cashier at Giant.

This is where I go into detail about how I answered while possibly adding more to it:

As a cashier at Giant, I was surrounded by very gossipy ladies. Women who have been cashiering for most of their adult lives. I was friendly and good at what I did, but I vehemently rejected any and all invitations to talk negatively about a customer or anyone else for that matter. As a result, the cashiers started to dislike me. They'd even try to look at me and make faces to try to get me to respond when either their own customer or my customer appeared to be rude.

When I became pregnant with my second child, I was enrolled in a technical school in order to obtain skills that would allow me to move on in my career path, which, started out to be in Network Engineering. However, after I became pregnant, my brain turned to mush (THANKS, NOAH!!! :)) and I had to downgrade my training to Office Administration. It was my plan to keep my pregnancy a secret for as long as I could from the gossipy ladies so that I could continue to earn income for my firstborn and myself without the stress of being the victim of severe judgment, as well as the topic of frenzied gossip that I was sure to be. I was due in January and was set to graduate from technical school five months prior to that, so I thought I had time.

About nine weeks into my pregnancy, I made the mistake of confiding in one of the office-workers, who'd touted herself to be a Christian. There were days I had to miss work or be late because I suffered from severe headaches or morning sickness (without the actual vomiting, just severe nausea), as well as frequent trips to the bathroom for which I needed to be given special consideration. The next day, I'm getting fake, "Congratulations!" left and right from practically everyone in the store. When I confronted this "Christian" woman, she basically dismissed me and stated she didn't understand why I'd be upset. I already had one child out of wedlock so what's the big deal about needing secrecy about having another one?

I gave my two weeks notice on that day, after having very happily worked there for three years and two months.

As a teenager, one of the things that used to hurt me most often was finding out that either my sister, mother, or friends would talk negatively about me to their friends, thereby showing a lack of loyalty on their parts. These people would look me in my face and act as though they loved me and to top it off, would HATE it if I mentioned facts about another person they knew regarding their behaviors. Not only that, they'd passionately defend those people! Meanwhile, they'd sit and listen to if not wholeheartedly agree with and add TO everything negative that was said about me.

To be fair, I was a real a**hole of a teenager. I was Ms. A**hole at home, and Ms. Congeniality at school, work and EVERYWHERE else. But still...
It wasn't a purposeful duality in lifestyle, I assure you. I was extremely unhappy at home and hated virtually everything about my household. I won't go into details about it, but trust that the minute I was able to, even to my own detriment as I wasn't as "ready" as I thought I was, I left home at 23 years old with my five-year-old and nine-month-old sons in tow.

Again, I know that from the outside looking in, I could be viewed as a hypocrite. I didn't think of it that way. It's not like I had to think about my behavior once I was out of the house. The transition came naturally. I was happier when I wasn't at home and my disposition changed accordingly.

But, I digress...

I grew up needing to know how to keep secrets because of the things going on in my house. I was a good student, quiet, and kept to myself; privacy was something that I needed to have in order to feel comfortable. I'd never want my secrets to be repeated, so it was only right - and EASY for me to keep others' secrets as well.

Today, while I am not as reserved as I once was, I still value my privacy to an extent. There was a time that I'd NEVER allow a family member to help me clean out closets - who KNEW what could be found in them! LOL! Now that I live my life a bit more openly and a lot less fearfully, I'm very nearly an (partially) open book, however, my respect for others' privacy as well as my desire to have loyal people around me and to remain a loyal person myself, remain unchanged.

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Weekly Journal Questions: Week One Catch-Up

At the request of my sister, I will touch on and maybe add to what I answered for my first week of journaling.

Week One Question: If you could be any age for one week, what age would you be? (I don't have the journal in front of me, but I think it's possible that, "and why?" was asked at the end of it...)

I said I'd be 16. My entry started out being a bit superficial: I was hot, fit, active, had amazing skin, hair, etc. Then I went slightly deeper and said it was probably around the first time in my life that I remember actually feeling good about myself as a person. And then I mentioned how it was the the last year of girl-hood before I became an actual woman and mother with brand new responsibilities outside of just school and chores. It was also around the time that my stepfather moved out of the house adding to my overall happiness and ability to feel good about myself.

This is where I add to it:

As I think back on my answer, I'm not sure what good it would do for me to be allowed to be a 16-year-old for a week in 2013. I can't think of anything worth doing that would require me to be 16 to do it - oh, wait, yes I can. I was less physically-cowardly at that age, so maybe I'd take the opportunity to ride some roller coasters, jump naked into a body of water, do consecutive cartwheels down a grassy hill - ooh, and roll down a grassy hill like I used to do as a child, roller skate and maybe even take a long walk in the rain.

A lot happened around that time in my life: I met my first-born's father, I got my first job, I fell in actual-love, not puppy-love for the first time, I lived free from the cloud of anger and abuse that was my stepfather, I was doing great in school and had awesome friends, I had my first most-romantic-moment ever with a Filipino boyfriend I had for like a month or so who also treated me better than any other boyfriend I had before and since (until my husband) even though he was still in love with someone else, LOL, and so much more.

To sum it up, it was a good year for me in that I felt free for the first time in my life without having to be knee-deep into a fantastic book or imagined place I'd conjure up in my head at night to forget about my life.

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Longest Day EVER

Whoever God put in charge of time today must have been napping through it because the minutes and hours have been dragging so very slowly. It wasn't just I who thought so either!

This past weekend, my sister came to visit. Being the nerd that she is,  she literally suggested to me based on random comments I made regarding messy closets that we organize two of my closets right there and then...and we did! We were very nearly done when she left and I kinda felt badly that that's all we basically did besides eat. Next visit, I hope to do something more fun - though I did kind of have fun getting rid of junk we didn't need and making much needed room in those two closets. It makes me feel so proud every time I open it to see it so neat and put together (one of the closets belong to me and the other is my husband's, so I only open mine daily).

I'm also participating with her in a weekly journal - of which she actually made me a personalized one! - where we answer randomly picked questions and make hand-written journal entries out of them. I noticed she's answered some on her blog...I need to ask her if she's also writing it in her journal or if she's printing the online versions out and pasting them into the book! That wouldn't be fair, Roxy, if that's what you're doing by the way!!!! :)

I don't have the prettiest handwriting in the world. Ok, it's two shakes from being entirely illegible, so embarking on this weekly task didn't appeal to me at first. I was, however, very much intrigued by getting a pretty and personalized journal from my sister and finding out what kinds of questions would be asked. Because I didn't get the journal until Saturday, I was two weeks behind. In order to catch up, I have already created three entries. Here were the questions:

If you could be any age for one week, what age would you be?
Are you trustworthy; can you keep a secret?
What has had the biggest impact on how you choose to live your life?

If anyone is ACTUALLY interested in knowing how I answered these, please let me know, and I'll provide summaries of how I answered.

Happy Tuesday!

Until next time,

XOXOXO

Jessika

Happy New Year!

Yes, I'm super late for my first entry of 2013. I haven't been in the mood to write as of late.

Yesterday, my son turned 14! After work, we took him out to one of his favorite restaurants: Texas Roadhouse. He's all about beef and good rolls, and Texas Roadhouse has both. Afterwards, we took him to Cold Stone for dessert.

We've decided that we're going to allow him to start drinking coffee, as he's been begging us to do that for about the past year. Sigh. My husband says we can allow him to drink the stuff with caffeine in it, but I don't know. Maybe I'll allow him the caffeine in the morning and get him some decaf for him to drink later in the afternoon/night. I will be taking him to get his own portable mug, coffee and creamers tomorrow, since we'll have the entire day together after a morning appointment. The question is whether or not he'll lose the thing the first time he takes it on the bus. Sigh again.

(Please, God, don't let him leave the thing on the bus or anywhere else for that matter!!!! Just thinking about it frustrates me!!!)

So, I'm curious to know what everyone's New Year's Resolutions are this year. I think I only have like three readers, but, hey, whoever you are, please share. Here are some of mine:

1. Shop less 
2. Save more
3. Eat more healthily
4. Be more active
5. Start my book
6. Sleep more
7. Yell less
8. Go on more frequent dates with my sexy husband

That's all I have for now. 

Have a beautifully blessed day!

Jessika