Monday, September 10, 2012

Slackin' Already...

...but I forgive myself.

I've been home for too long. I had to take the day off Friday for Noah and took the day off again today. I actually MISS work, which never happens; can't wait to go back tomorrow.

Things have been a little "off" with me lately. I'd blame it on my period but there are some things that simply can't be brushed under that bloody rug. There need to be some things about me that don't change, regardless of my hormonal imbalances. God is always constant; the closer I get to Him, the more consistent I will be in all things.

I'm getting over the beauty guru thing on youtube. I'm sick of tutorials and suggestions on what I should spend my hard-earned money on, too. I have more makeup than I know what to do with already; I should give/throw 85 percent of it away. However, what usually happens when I get sick of something and give it away, whether it be makeup or handbags, I end up missing the thing/wishing I never gave it away weeks/months later.

I don't even know why I ever got into this stuff. I don't wear that much makeup and I'm watching videos with girls completely hidden behind masks of foundation and powder and eyeshadow and whatever trying to tell me what I should buy to put on my skin. I'm not saying there is anything "wrong" with what they're doing; but if I should watch a video, it should be of someone who promotes more natural, breathing skin on a day to day basis. I do like eyeshadow, but it's too much work to bother with every single day. I don't know how they do it. I suppose some of these girls can't help it; I'm assuming if you're always taking pictures and are on film, you "have" to wear foundation and extra stuff on your face. I don't know.

Why am I rambling away about makeup?

I'm having communication issues with someone close to me. It's like anything requiring more than five words out of my mouth (or my fingers in a text message) turns into some kind of argument or provocation to negative or snide comments. I don't recall it ever being THIS hard to talk to this person. There's obviously an underlying issue; the question is whether or not I care to get to the heart of it. I'm leaning towards NO.

Until next time,



  1. Jessika i love your writing it just flows so naturally. I hear you struggling and just want to say it's okay, I can tell you have a beautiful spirit and I know God has something special in mind just for you just quiet yourself and listen. Btw your addictions are so sweet and harmless it's okay don't be so hard on yourself.

    1. I don't know how I didn't know about this comment until now. I was logging in today to write another entry and found this waiting for me. Your words are so encouraging! Reading this made my heart smile - THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU; not only for reading but for also taking the time to encourage me:). GOD BLESS YOU! XOXOXO