I Started...

...writing my book yesterday. Out of nowhere, I just knew where it should start, which is something I struggled with deciding. However, deciding on where to start wasn't the number one reason for my procrastination. It truly hit me as I completed the very first page why I've been putting it off.

It's hard to write down the things that I've experienced in the past without getting emotional. It's weird the stuff that I was able to recall that I haven't even thought about in a ridiculous number of years. It truly feels like I'm getting reacquainted with myself and I have this weird feeling of being split into two people...if that makes any sense.

I don't feel sorry for myself; that's not what causes the emotional upset. A part of me feels that it's due to the fact that I know that there are young people going through what I went through, right now even, and it hurts my heart. No one should have to live through that...

But this book isn't going to be an autobiography. I'm using my life to make a "fiction-based-on-true-events" type of thing. I think it's the safest course to take...

Anyway, for those of you who care, please pray for me through this process. My goal is to finish the book by the end of the year.

Have a great weekend!

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Husbandless Weekend Part 2

The weekend ended up being a lot more fun and interesting than I expected. On Friday night, everyone else was in bed when I got home from work, which was good for me because all I wanted to do was eat and go to sleep.

On Saturday morning, my sister came over and we went to the Ulta grand opening in my area. I dropped my Jada and Noah off with one of their friends at the nearby movie theatre, at which time a second friend showed up. They couldn't decide on a movie, so after my sister and I left Ulta with a couple bags full of goodies, I took them to Annapolis Mall.

My sister and I ate at Fuddruckers and talked for like two hours. It's amazing how much we have in common and how easy it is for us to talk about ANYTHING. She has never been as open with me as she was this weekend and it meant a lot. After we ate, we left to go back to my house and we talked even more. I didn't want her to leave!!! And she didn't want to leave either, but she had to get back home to her toddler. But, she'll be back this weekend! Yay!!!

After she left, I took my Jaylen to Chipotle where we got a couple of burrito bowls to go. We ate very briefly together at the kitchen table before he was out of here with his girlfriend. I waited about 10 to 15 minutes then I took off back to the mall to pick up the four kids since they were apparently having so much fun they weren't planning to call me to get them! I absolutely loved that they spent most of the time all four of them together instead of the girls being separated from the boys. I surprised them with chocolate chip cookies and my son's friend exclaimed that he "loved me" in response:). Before taking the two friends home, I took them to 7-11 to get drinks.

On Sunday, my mom came over and we went to church. Church felt weird without my husband there to play the drums, but it was okay. Afterwards, we went to East Moon Asian Bistro of course! The food was as excellent as always! We then came home because Jaylen had to go to work at 4:00 p.m.

Later in the evening, my mom, Jada and I went to Food Lion to buy pork chops and rice to make for dinner. My mom made the rice and Jada made the pork chops and they were DE-LI-CIOUS! Her cooking skills amaze me!!!

We kinda chilled out the rest of the night in front of the TV and went to bed.

I had to work on Monday and I didn't expect to see my husband until I got home. But then he surprised me by coming to the office straight from the airport!! I was so incredibly excited to see him!!! We rode home together and ate leftovers from the night before and he told everyone about his historically significant trip!

This morning, after waking up at 5:00 a.m. and taking a shower, I found out that I didn't have to go to work. Sigh. What a waste! The kids didn't have school either...DOUBLE WASTE!! The weather was nowhere near deserving of a day off for them! I can't really speak on the conditions in DC and Arlington, which is where our federal government offices are located. Anyway, my husband and I had trouble going back to sleep so we decided to get up and go grocery shopping in "preparation for the still-allegedly-coming-storm-that-actually-never-happened-afterall-dagnabbit!

My mom is still here so we invited her to come with us. Jason treated us to IHOP before we shopped and the food was good but too much so we couldn't finish it. My mom's breakfast was the tiniest so she was able to almost-finish hers.

Wal-mart was almost dead when we got there and everything was well-stocked, so that was a blessing. I did hear that they were SLAMMED the night before, though, so I'm glad we didn't go last night like I originally wanted to do.

This entry was truly boring but I wanted to write it anywayz...

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Husbandless Weekend :(

My edible husband is headed to Atlanta, GA and then to Birmingham, AL to paint at the Congressional Pilgrimage to Selma. He'll be gone until Monday afternoon. Please keep him in prayer! This is only one of prayerfully-many-more-to-come-opportunities for him to be a blessing through his art, and I'm so very proud of him! I know that it's going to be a super-duper blessed experience!!!

This will be our longest separation since August of 2007, which was when he went to Lagos, Nigeria with his family for a church mission. We weren't married (and therefore, not living together) then, so the separation wasn't AS terrible as this one might be for me.

I don't mind being away from him for a time because it gives us the ability to miss each other. Also, I rather enjoy spending time alone. The hardest part for me, I think, will be at night. I sleep so much better, so much more peacefully, with him next to me...

Another thing that will be difficult for ME is dealing with the kids. See, he's the "fun" parent. He's adventurous and gets us to go out and do things - to be honest, just being AROUND him, even if it's just to watch TV, is fun because he's so funny and engaging. You know how normal people just space out while watching TV, even with others in the room with them, even during commercials? My husband's not like that. He'll talk to the TV, make jokes about what's happening or see a weird-looking character on the screen and say, "Look at your mommy, Ha!" or "Look at Noah's wife! Ha!" (Noah's my 14 year old son.) With him gone, the kids are going to be ridiculously bored out of their minds unless I think of something interesting for them to do. And that's hard for me because I could be holed up in my room all day playing with my nail polishes or makeup, watching romantic comedies starring British actors all day long and be happy as can be...

I know, it sounds terribly selfish....

I was thinking about going to my bro's house to visit, but he and his wife won't be there. My mom's babysitting his kids for him and it feels weird to go visit someone's house without the owners of said house being present. It feels like a violation or something...so I don't know....

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

(This post was published late for safety reasons. Didn't want people knowing the man of the house was gone for the weekend.)

Liebster Award Response

I recently received a Liebster Award from my sister, Rose @ Immutable Ramblings, but since I don't know ANY up and coming bloggers, with the exception of my sister, I am unable to dole out any awards in response. I'm going to share the rules and do my part, just in case anyone who reads this falls into the below categories and volunteers to have me nominate them for the award:):

The Rules:

* The nominees must link back to the blogger who awarded them

* If you are nominated, write "11 Random Facts" about yourself

and answer the 11 questions the awarder wrote for you.

* Make up 11 new questions to be answered and nominate 11 other bloggers.

11 Random Facts About Myself:

 1. I'm an introvert. Read about it: http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts

2. I'm addicted to nail polish.

3. In the last five days, I've eaten at the exact same restaurant four times and had the same appetizer each time! LOL! (East Moon Asian Bistro/Crab Rangoon).

4. I feel the need to kiss and/or hug and/or say, "I love you," to my kids several times a day, every day.

5. My current phone wallpaper is a four-picture collage of silly faces my husband is making, and every time I look at it, I can't help but smile and nearly tear-up with how silly he is and how happy he makes me.

6. I nearly cringe every time I hear someone make the word, "ask," sound like, "ax."

7. I have trouble remembering how to spell a big word unless I've actually seen it/read it before, and usually, the only way I'll remember it when asked is if I can first conjure up the image of that word in my head where I last saw it.

8. I love handbags; I don't want to say I'm addicted to them because while I know I used to be, I don't think I am anymore. Anywayz, while cleaning out my closet two weekends ago, I realized I had way more bags than I wanted or needed, so I packed up around two dozen almost-never-worn-handbags from my personal collection and gave them to the ladies at my church for free. 

9. As a teenager, my favorite after school snack used to be saltine crackers with grape jelly and a huge cup of milk. While pregnant with my my first son, my favorite dessert was Vanilla Swiss Almond Ice Cream. While pregnant with my second son, my favorite after work snack was a tuna fish sandwich and a big cup of milk. After I gave birth to my second son, I somehow became lactose intolerant!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. I didn't know that I had naturally curly hair until I was 12 years old. My mom always used to blow dry it for me. When I got older, I used to dry my own hair straight by sitting in front of a fan. While getting ready for my first dance at school, I wanted to look and feel different, so I put some gel in it while it was wet and scrunched it - and it stayed! LOL!

11. I LOVED homework as a child. In high school, I used to go straight to the library after school to sit in a quiet corner and do my assignments. When I finished, I always took a deep breath, smiled really wide, and felt extremely smart and good about myself. 

11 Questions Asked of me by Rose/Immutable Ramblings:

 If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and who would you take? I would LOVE to go to Italy with my husband, Jason. He's the ultimate traveling companion and always makes me feel safe in unfamiliar places.

If you could have one super hero type ability, which would you choose and why? I think I'd like to teleport. I almost said fly, but I would much prefer to be able to blink my eyes like I Dream of Jeannie and just be where I want to be, or disappear from where I currently am, just like that! LOL!

Do you have any hidden talents? What are they? Well, of COURSE I do! But I can't tell you what they are cuz they'z all hidden! LOL!

What is your most favorite feature about yourself and why? Currently it's my HAIR!!! I just dyed it my DREAM color (shout out to Antwanyce Richardson - aka RichAnt, an AMAZING artist and hair coloring magician! http://therichant.com/,  http://www.facebook.com/#!/HairByRichAnt?fref=ts for making it possible) and it's the thing I can't stop smiling about every time I look in the mirror!

If you could meet any famous person, author, president, actor, artist or musician, who would it be and why? What would you want to know? What would you say? There is no one on this planet that I admire enough to actually want to meet in person or ask any questions. I've never been the "star struck" type. However, I DO have a big 'ol bag of questions for Jesus:).

What is your ideal date? An amazing dinner, a comedy show or play to follow, and standing outside of my husbands car kissing the heck out of him before we get in and drive toward home. 

What are you favorite colors? Green and Purple. :)

What is your all time favorite movie? Hmm...this one's hard to answer. There are so many movies that I love that are stupid but that I enjoy watching over and over and over again. A lot of them have Adam Sandler or Reese Witherspoon or Julia Roberts in them. One movie I HAVE to watch at least once or twice a year is Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Silly, I know...

What do you hope to accomplish in 2013? I'd like to at least START on my book and eat and live healthier.

Do you have any goals for your blog? I'd say to increase readership but I haven't worked too hard to make that happen:(. My hope is that something I write will somehow reach someone out there who NEEDS it, and that it will affect them in a positive way. I also aspire to progress and improve as a writer and a person as I continue to share my thoughts and perspectives.

Of all of the polishes in your collection, which one is your favorite and who is it by? Ooh, see, this is not the right question to ask of me now! My FAVORITE Julep colors are tied between Donna and Popova, but neither they nor any other polish in my massive collection are getting ANY love these days - except for the entire currently-only-six-color PixieDust collection by Zoya. I'm OBSESSED with it! I don't care which color it is, I LOVE THEM ALL! I wish I could magically make any one of my nail polishes have a finish like PixieDust has! The finish is sparkly yet matte and sugary-looking. When I showed Jason, he instantly played like he was eating my fingers! LOL! I'm in LOVE! And now Zoya's talking about bringing out more colors! Aggghh!!! I want to fast-forward to the day I have more colors in my possession!!!! LOL!

I'm not going to bother coming up with the questions until I've actually found some people to nominate...I hope that's okay!

Thanks, Rose!

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Crab Rangoon!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I blame this addiction on Antwanyce Richardson - aka RichAnt, an AMAZING artist and hair styling magician! http://therichant.com/ and http://www.facebook.com/#!/HairByRichAnt?fref=ts.

During my hair appointment a few weeks ago, she'd sent her daughter to a Chinese takeout to get her something called Crab Rangoon, though it might be spelled Krab Rangoon, I don't know. I never even saw or smelled or tasted it at the time the words came out of her mouth, or at all that night, but the words stuck in my head: Crab Rangoon.

So, when my husband and I went to check out a new Asian spot called East Moon Asian Bistro on Valentine's Day, and saw the rangoon on the menu, I knew I had to try it. He wasn't as excited about trying it as I was because he'd had it before at other places and said it wasn't good. At this point I still didn't know what the heck it was until it was described to me as cream cheese and crab stuffed into a fried wonton...sounded very mmmm....to me...

And it WAS very, VERY mmmmmmm to me! One thing I will say is I could tell that this was something that could easily go very, very wrong at your rinky dink Chinese restaurant. But, of the three times I've had it since Valentine's day, it's been good. I will say that the next two times weren't as magical as the very first time, but it was still, very, very good!

Here's a picture:

To top it off, the food at East Moon is also delicious. We were not loving a lot of the "roll" offerings on their appetizer menu, but the vegetable spring rolls are in fact yummy, and you get one free with fried rice with your lunch entree.

I woke up today craving their basil chicken, which, though ever so slightly on the salty side, was super tasty. I am sensitive to salt so it may not be salty to normal people:). I didn't have any entrees the first night we were there; we'd ordered four appetizers and then a huge sushi boat, which was AMAZING!! OH-SO fresh and ugh, I want it now! The second time I went, just with my youngest son, I had the basil chicken. And yesterday, when I went with my hubby and three kids, I had the Mongolian beef and asked that it be made extra spicy. It wasn't extra spicy but it WAS delicious!

And I love their fried rice! I don't know if it's going to be a short-term thing since we've just had Valentine's day, but they shape the serving of rice into a heart and it's so freakin' adorable!

Here's the basil chicken:

And here's the Mongolian Beef:

On Valentine's day, the place was super-packed and we had to wait at least 30 minutes for a table. People were coming in and out of there just for takeout and all of the tables were packed. The next two visits during the lunch hour were great as there was NO wait and we were served quickly. They are kind of unnoticeable if you're driving on the street their on, but in Glen Burnie, they're right next to a Dominos pizza and the CVS is very close to it as well.

If you ever want to visit, the address is: 7400 Governor Ritchie Hwy, Glen Burnie, MD 21061.

I like their food WAY better than PF Chang's and quite frankly, any other Chinese restaurant I've ever been to...see, right now, my stomach is burning with hunger and I am having trouble deciding what to eat because everything is not East Moon...must...fight...urge...to...go...there...MUST!!!!!

But their prices ARE so reasonable....hmm....

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Happy Thursday

I have a few minutes so I thought I'd write a little something...

I'm extremely sleepy at this time, so if I start to sound crazy, please excuse me.

It's Thursday, February 14th, and lots of people will be going out on dates, receiving gifts of greeting cards, candy, maybe even some jewelry, and people will, for the most part, probably be extra nice to each other, too. To me, it's just another Thursday, but, I'll probably go to dinner with my bestest friend-companion-love-of-my-life. I'm praying that where we're going won't be too crowded. It's someplace we've never been before, so I'm looking forward to the experience.

I feel extremely blessed to have a husband who treats and considers me in a way that doesn't have me anxiously awaiting special occasions to be treated and considered in a certain way. I don't mean to sound prideful or braggy or anything like that. What I'm saying is that I wish more men would learn to treat their women like EVERY DAY is Valentine's day. And I wish women would learn to expect that from their men - that doesn't mean treat your men like crap, ladies, and still expect to be treated like queens in return, either!!!

Some people will be "hooking up" tonight "just because," too, and that's a whole 'nother sad situation that I wish didn't exist. Every "hook up," in my opinion, is like having another sheet ripped from the  book of your soul, leaving you more empty and having less to offer than before. I should know; I've BEEN there and learned the hard way that the longer you hold onto losers, the less you'll have to offer a winner.

I'm remembering the year I stopped thinking that Valentine's Day was a big deal. It was 2001. I was in an abusive nearly-three-year-relationship with a man whose every word and action told me he didn't give a dang about me. He lied, cheated, verbally, mentally and physically abused me, and disrespected me and my home and property. He was that dude you would ask to get you and the kids something to eat, took your car and disappeared for six hours, brought the car back on empty - COLD FOOD - and then got mad at you for having the audacity to ask him where he'd been and if he'd please put gas back in your car. He was also that dude that would not get out of the car when you drove into a gas station, and watched you fill up the tank yourself. But I digress. Anyway, we were an on-again-off-again type of couple and on this Valentine's Day, we were OFF...

My sons were asleep and I'd just finished writing mySELF a love letter and filling up a card with positive words to encourage myself. I'd even bought myself a small bouquet of flowers. I was sitting at my dining room table re-reading my letter and card, admiring my pretty flowers, and feeling really good about myself when I heard my doorbell ring.

I was NOT happy to see him or the little bag containing chocolate, or the heart-shaped balloon he brought. It was at that very second that it all became clear to me. That I STOPPED being stupid. That my standards were raised 1000 percent. I knew EXACTLY why he was there and what he expected to get and it made me angry. Those "gifts" were a big fat INSULT to my intelligence, to my heart and to my soul. I thanked him and told him he had to go. He instantly became furious and asked why he had to go after "all that he just did for me."

JUST WOW...

He eventually left, still upset, still unsatisfied, and I continued on with my very pleasant evening...

It's weird that I would think about this today. But, I hope this story will help someone out there realize that there comes a time when you just have to stop the nonsense. Grow up, be alone, learn to love and RESPECT yourSELF. Know that there comes a time when you have to stop settling for mediocrity in your relationships. Stop allowing yourself to be used and abused. Stop being STUPID!

JUST STOP IT!!!!!

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika

Checking In...

It's been too long since I've written.

I've been keeping up with hand-written entries, once a week, BUT, I'm super duper late this week for some reason. I have not yet answered my question of the week and it's already Wednesday.

News:

Last Wednesday, I went and "got my hurr did." I had it trimmed, layered and also colored...REDS. Yes, Reds, because there are like four different shades of red running through this mop. It was almost five until I let my lady know that I wanted nothing orange in my hair! LOL! I also had it blow-dried straight and then curled because if I didn't, I would have left the salon frizzy. The straightness lasted until Monday night, which is when I decided to wash it because my scalp was itching something awful.

You should have seen my shower as I was washing my hair. It looked like I'd murdered Strawberry Shortcake in the tub. Pink everywhere. I was afraid that after I was all done, my hair would be brown again or that the color would have been significantly faded, but, to my surprise and pleasure, it was as vibrantly red as ever.

Another thing I was concerned about was whether or not I'd still be able to scrunch my hair back to its curly glory after all of the processing it went through just days ago. When I used to dye my hair at home in the past, my hair wouldn't be as bouncy as it was before I colored it, and I had to suffer through flat waves and/or loose frizzy curls for a while. I purchased a blow dryer because I'd been doing some research on curl maintenance and I'd found that naturally curly hair looked its best bouncy self if blow dried with a diffuser as opposed to allowing it to air-dry. I haven't used a blow drier on myself since...since...umm...wow, I can't remember. It's been at LEAST 10 years. I also thought about trying to blow dry my hair straight every once in a while because I really liked how I looked with straight hair now that my hair is the color of happiness (as far as I'm concerned)! As it turns out, I had nothing to worry about!

My hair has gotten tons 'o attention lately and I'm loving every bit of it! I don't think a day has gone by since last Wednesday that I haven't received at least one compliment on my hair from a stranger. I know the compliments may not come as often now that I've returned to my curls, but I don't care. I still love, love, love it!!! This is the color(s) for me!

Here is a picture of my hair when it was straight, taken by a co-worker's phone:

Here it is as of this afternoon. I washed my hair Monday night and I blow-dried it with a diffuser after putting mousse in it that was recommended to me by my hair stylist. I am very pleased with the result! Also, this pic kind of sucks because I took it with my front facing camera phone that totally washes out colors as a whole. Believe me when I say that the color is still vibrantly red, just not as noticeable since my hair kind of has a wet-like look when it's curly:

I found that blow-drying really allowed my curls to look nice and uniform as opposed to the gamble of air-drying (usually in front of a fan) where I'd end up with  longer and shorter and even bone straight hairs in some places depending on how I slept on it (I only wash my hair in the evenings if the time comes to wash it on a weekday).

That's all I've got for today. I'll try to write more before the week is over. Until then, here is a picture of the nail polishes I'm wearing today. I'm in LOVE with Zoya's Pixie Dust collection! I got the whole set! I'm wearing London on all my nails except for my ring fingers, on which I chose to wear Chyna for Valentine's day. I didn't want to go all red; my hair is red enough:).

Sorry for the short nails. I HAD to file them down last night. Dem jointz was way too long and I kept bumping them everywhere. They are strong and hardly ever break, so when I'd bump them, it'd HURT!!! I'm a comfort over beauty kinda gal! LOL!

Until next time,

XOXOXO - Jessika