Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Women, Men, Relationships

I was going through my old mailbox and found a response I wrote to a blog written by a former friend back in 2006! I don't remember what she wrote about, but I thought my response was pretty darn good! So here it is for all who care to read it:

I think men are more forthcoming about themselves than most women care to realize. Men aren't as skilled in "hiding the truth about themselves" as women are - primarily because they don't really HAVE to be. If more women would step outside of the little rosy world we have a tendency to create for ourselves when we've become interested in someone, then we'd see all of the flashing warning signs a man's actions and/or words very clearly display more times than not.

Men are also USUALLY very good about VERBALIZING what it is they want and don't want - but women like to filter out what we don't want to hear/see and hear/see only the "pretty parts." Sometimes it's the opposite though: Men tend to SAY all of the lovey dovey stuff but their actions indicate very different desires and interests.

Examples: Women in "booty call" relationships are told frequently by the man that he is not interested in a committed relationship and/or he will never leave his wife/girlfriend, but because the sex is so good, the woman stays and imagines in her head that a man who could sex her THAT good is OBVIOUSLY in love with HER and, if she patiently waits it out, he will realize that he loves her and will commit to her...eventually. Her focus is on the good sex and times they have together, NOT on what he's actually SAYING to her...

Then you have the guy who says he's in love and wants to spend his life with her and that she's everything he's looking for in a relationship...and yet he's got all of these female "friends" he can't seem to let go of. He doesn't call or show up when he's supposed to. He isn't very attentive and/or doesn't appear too interested in what she really has to say. He may disappear often and she can't really guarantee that when she calls/makes a date, he'll be available to her. Her focus, however, stays on all of the pretty WORDS he says and not what his actions very clearly indicate: He's not that into her.

I wish we women spent more time digging into the parts we play in our failed love relationships and less time on what manipulative "dogs" the men "turned out to be." I think it'd be more productive and useful when we decide to engage in future relationships. Also, I think if we do this, we'd find that what pissed us off the MOST was not what the man "said/did," but instead on how our desparation for a relationship made us skip the important steps and ignore the important aspects of the men we focused our attention on.

That's my two cents:).

Until next time,



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